Wednesday, August 1, 2012


(I'd first like to preamble this post by apologizing to my regular readers for posting this drivel, but I decided to go ahead with the post anyway as I suspect many of you will get a good laugh out of it. Besides, while it's not technically game-related it is a great insight into the mentality prevalent in some gaming communities.)

That's right, True Believers! My self-proclaimed nemesis, the famous DoomWorld superstar Doomguy2000 has apparently dedicated his latest video "burial" to none other than Yours Truly. Apparently this is supposed to be quite the honor, so of course I want to proudly share it here. Let's tune in and take a look, shall we?

Initially I wasn't going to post any sort of official response to this video gem since I know my friends will be shaking their heads over the fact that I can actually lower myself to such a level, but at least one or two things were mentioned in the audio portion of the presentation that I feel I should rebut.

First and foremost, I'd like to address the accusation that I need to create alternate identities to deal with this (or any other) person on the internet. Not true, at least not these days. Almost four years ago, however, was an entirely different story. At that time I had never done anything at all on the internet ever (since I'd never had an internet connection in my home), but I wanted to join the Nexus modding community and start creating and sharing mods for my favorite game at the time, TES IV Oblivion. Having never participated in such a community before, I was uncertain how a female gamer would be received (though I had heard rumors) so I initially created a masculine identity for myself... Salmacis1968. I didn't use that identity for very long, however; I soon discovered that this online modding community wasn't filled with as many girl-haters as I had expected (though such narrow-minded individuals do still thrive elsewhere) so I abandoned the identity and took on the name I still use today: Herculine. This wasn't a top-secret conspiracy, mind you; I politely requested that the Nexus admins ban the superfluous account, which they happily did and thanked me for my honesty, and I've told this story both privately to friends and publicly a number of times since then. But apparently my public honesty on this matter is now being used in an attempt to make me appear dishonest.

Now I want to be very clear here that I have no proof whether it is Doomguy2000 himself or someone else who has searched back through four years of Nexus Forum posts to dig up this information and now use the name to make comments on Doomguy2000's videos. But judging from the displays in this video (and the numerous links provided on its YouTube upload page, I'd wager that Doomguy2000 has done this himself as part of some twisted attempt to create some sort of drama in his perpetual need for attention. He's obviously been closely following my blog here, my DoomWorld Forums posts and the status of my uploads to the id Games Archives, so my imagination doesn't have to stretch very far at all to suspect that he'd also waste untold hours sifting through the Nexus Forums looking for me there as well (though he says he's not obsessed with me). To be perfectly honest, I sincerely hope that such is indeed not the case; if it is then I've attracted yet another creepy internet stalker.

I realize that my admission to having used another identity at one point in my internet life might lead even my closest friends to question my integrity; I can only attempt to assuage any such doubts by saying that ever since then I have used the same name, Herculine, everywhere I've gone on the internet (even in its dark unmentionable places) and I've not been afraid to put that name proudly on anything I've ever said or done... including classic Doom mods that have earned me much ridicule. Thus I will continue to use that name whether it is regarded with fame or infamy and hopefully my word on that will be enough.

Oh, and just to clarify: the "i" is pronounced like a long "e"; I am neither a luxury cruise ship nor a railroad franchise. The name was gleaned from Greek mythology by way of Roman mythology (as was the name Salmacis); I merely feminized it a bit by changing a letter or so. Actually, I can't even take credit for that; I first read the name in the memoirs of Herculine Barbin. Why would I adopt such a moniker? Well, while I'm doing the blatantly honest thing here I will reveal that I'm a lesbian with a (perhaps weird) penchant for futanari, so the sad story of persecuted Herculine Barbin has a lot of meaning for me. While I am not at all ashamed of my sexual orientation (in fact being quite proud of it) and thus do not keep it a secret, it is also something that I try not to bludgeon folks with because it's really not appropriate to do so. I only mention it here because my integrity has been questioned and the way I deal with that portion of my life in my opinion demonstrates that I've got more integrity than most people you will ever encounter.

Do I need to hide behind an alternate name to speak of the works of Doomguy2000? Hardly. Let me prove this by again expressing my opinion here in the blog bearing my widely-used pseudonym. While many Doom purists might join the argument that the Duke Nukem shotgun indeed does not belong in Doom, I have to ask you, Doomguy2000, what the fuck do you think they'd have to say about Justin Bieber, Pikachu, the huge single-frame likeness of yourself and the plethora of other MS Paint atrocities you insert into the game in your mods? Dude! Really? You claim that I aspire to be as famous as you; to be perfectly honest I'm mortified that my name has been associated with you in any way whatsoever. If I'd known in advance that my Doom Upgrade would be compared to the crap you're constantly attempting to peddle (except when the DoomWorld admins have the wisdom to instantly "hell" your posts) I'd have immediately ceased work on the project and forever deleted it from my computer. I rue the day I uploaded my YouTube video because it attracted you to me; if I want to be anything in life, it certainly is not you.

Which brings us to the next point... Doomguy2000, you say I'm obsessed with you and I need to comment on your videos to make myself feel as important as you. Let me again remind you that I'd never heard of you or your mods and likely never would have paid either an iota of attention, but it was you who first came to my video page posting insults and not the other way around (as you apparently would have others believe). You obviously wanted my attention, but once you got it now you've decided that maybe that wasn't such a good idea after all. Furthermore, it should be noted that I've refrained from insulting you in my comments on your videos of your Doom mods; I've merely suggested that they might be more successful if you'd take a more serious approach to your work. If anything, I tried to make a friend rather than an enemy. You say I'm the one who can't handle criticism, but you certainly seem to fly to extremes when folks attempt to give you friendly suggestions. I'm not the one making YouTube videos of myself ranting every time someone doesn't agree with something I've said or done. I hate to crush your obviously huge ego here, but ALL comments are blocked on my uploaded videos, not just your comments. I took that precaution (and have since continued to do so on all subsequent videos) because when you leaped to leave your insults on my first-ever YouTube video mere minutes after it had finished uploading it served to remind me that the world is full of people just like you and honestly, I'm better off not having to deal with any of you.

I don't take criticism well and all I do on this blog is cry because people don't like my mods? Partially true, I suppose. Truth be told, however, I actually enjoy constructive criticisms of my work and am always asking for such feedback. However, the definition of constructive criticism does not include degrading insults; I'm certain you know what I'm talking about here because we both get it from the DoomWorlders all the time. Calling someone's mod "vomit", "a pile of steaming turds" or making elaborately insulting comments like: "I'd rather have two NFL teams play tug-of-war with my scrotum than play this" are not constructive by any definition. (I didn't make up that last bit; I actually read it somewhere in the Archives.) If getting upset when I hear that sort of thing makes me an overly-sensitive whiner like my furry avatar, then hell yes I am one whiny pussy! As I alluded earlier, I've participated in a number of modding communities for a couple of years now. During that time I have never struck at any of my fellow modders like that (whether I thought they deserved it or not) and as a firm believer in the Golden Rule it infuriates me to be the brunt of such blatant attacks. Sure, I should probably just roll with the punches and keep my mouth shut (in the end it would likely be better for my reputation) but sometimes I can't help but try to defend myself though I know that my voice will be drowned out by those of the countless idiots that form the internet majority.

Lastly, Doomguy2000, you predicted that I would respond to your video here in the blog by trying to make you "look retarded". If it seems that I have purposefully done such then I owe you an apology...

...but honestly, you're doing a pretty good job of that sort of thing on your own without any help from me.

(In closing I would again like to apologize to any of my regular readers who read all this and wasted twelve minutes of their lives watching that video. What can I say? I was feeling bored tonight.)


  1. What can i say. I think his efforts to make an overwhelming addon for doom aren't for naught, i bet there are people that like colourfull and humorous monsters that are cartoonish sprites from existing media / movies / series. But i prefer to keep it more to DooM models to keep the feeling the same. Haters gonna hate, fans gonna love, it is how it is, everybody their own :)

    1. I agree and I generally prefer to spend my time enjoying playing the games I love rather than bickering childishly over how they should be played. But when it comes to that attitude most days I seem to be seriously outnumbered.

  2. Here we go after I stopped being lazy. I am going through the flaws of your blog post.

    1. I didn't go through the Nexus forums, since I don't care about that game. As far as me making the video it was you who once again started it back up because of that one comment.

    2. Well you got me on stuff that didn't fit Doom, but somehow fits my theme of Doomguy's Warzone. I called you out on this because, you have some stuff that doesn't fit Doom.

    3. Well I guess I'm wrong on that specific point, oh well. There must be a good reason why you feel the need to criticize me. The reason why you promoted my randomizer is because it was being compared to you Doom Upgrade.

    3.5. You say it's wisdom when my threads are being helled, I personally think it's censorship, but they had a good reason behind which I explained in the video. So somehow that video attracted me?

    4. You say you've never heard of me yet commented on my Doomguy's Warzone Gold Edition thread about Megaupload. What did I actually say that was offensive? I don't remember insulting you, I just wondering the point of the video and that was one comment. The only channel comment was me saying "you can't take criticism because you had to post a 81 minute video trying to prove haters wrong.

    4.5. So next you say I wanted your attention? My most viewed video has 60,000+ views and second most viewed at 40,000+, so how was me making a video wanting you attention? You say you refrained from insulting me, yet attack me as Salmancis1968 thus contracting yourself in that specific sentence. The statement "I tried to make a friend rather than an enemy", is just BS when once again using the tough guy account so that's another contraction right here.

    5. Yep I somehow fly to the extreme when I don't want to make serious wads when there's plenty of those. Yes they have given me suggestion, but I rarely use them. The most helpful critic was Wildweasel since some of his grievances actually did help me in improving my product of Doomguy's Warzone.

    5.5. The obvious fact that you can't take criticism is true regardless on what you say. Yeah you took that precaution when putting future comments on pending approval and posting your future videos as unlisted sure help you out alot.

    6. Here you try to separate constructive criticism and degrading insults as 2 different thing. When you cried and bitched about in previous blog posts just made you look worse. Once again you contract yourself in another sentence.

    Overall in this blog you try to be honest but still somehow dishonest and made yourself proved to be the hypocrite and loser in this argument.

    1. 1. I said the DoomWorld admins were wise to insta-hell your post because we all know fully well that you upload these videos to ignite flame-wars; you know damn well how they're going to be received when you make the posts and seem to desire the negative attention. That's called trolling, among other things. I still stand firmly by my call on that one. I also clearly stated that I don't know if it's you or someone else using that name now, and that my suspicions are just that: suspicions. I suppose I'll just have to take your word for it.

      2. We and others could (and have and will continue to) argue this till we die and never get anywhere.

      3. I don't feel the need to criticize you; I feel the need to tell you that you have obvious talent at modding the game and could make something really cool if you'd just try.

      3.5. See reply paragraph 1.

      4.5. You'll just have to take my word on it; if you can't, there's not much else I can do about it.

      4. I still don't understand why my uploading a Doom video concerned you so; you think of me as a YouTube competitor now, perhaps? A threat to your realm? As for MegaUpload, it's been gone for quite some time now and I honestly don't remember to what you are referring. If you'll refresh my memory I will apologize if necessary.

      5. Obviously not taking people's advice is nobody's choice but yours and I can't do anything about that. I just tried to be helpful is all.

      5.5. Since you're so certain regardless of what I say then it's really pointless of me to say anything else, isn't it?

      6. Like I said, I should probably stop trying to defend myself and just silently take everything that gets thrown at me (you included), but it's human nature that if someone punches you in the mouth you want to punch them back. I'm human; I can't help it.

      Overall in this blog I just try to share gaming stuff and my gaming interests with people. If that makes me a hypocrite and a dishonest loser then so be it.

    2. 1. Yep it's called trolling when what I create stuff that more interesting than the same old stuff we have been seeing for years.

      3. The coolest thing I made that is so far my most well received wad is 100x. I guessing you want me to make boring maps that people have already seen over and over again, unless you're talking about other things I could do with my talents?

      4. I was referring to this thread:

      5.5. Because what I say on that specific point is true. How else can that be denied?

      6. Whatever, keep wasting your time bitching about the insults you get from people in the idgames archives.

      Did I say sharing gaming stuff and interests with people make you a hypocrite? No that was referring to your behavior with the fake account and obvious dishonesty you show towards people and when it also came to the oblige maps that you didn't talk about in your blog as another example.

    3. 1. Whether or not it's interesting is a matter of opinion.

      3. Really not sure what you mean by "100x". I'm saying that you could stop deliberately, intentionally making stuff that you already know fully well everyone is going to hate. While you keep saying that all my stuff is crap and you're a famous Doom god, I would like to remind you that all your uploads never get more than half a star while my single file has steadily held at least two full stars for over a solid year now. If you insist upon making this a popularity contest of our uploaded works, you obviously lose. So what if you have billions of views on your hundreds of YouTube videos? YouTube has been a known idiot magnet for decades now.

      4. An exact quote of what I posted in that thread:

      "Actually, MegaUpload was shut down thanks to people filling it with pirated copyrighted materials and the site owners letting it slide for years. But we live in a society where nobody likes to take responsibility for their own actions so yeah, blame the government; it's their fault the site was full of illegal material."

      I totally forgot that thread was yours, but honestly I still don't understand how my post could possibly have offended you or your fine works. I didn't criticize or insult you personally in any way there. You can call me a lying hypocrite if you'd like, but folks can easily follow the http:// you kindly provided and read it for themselves.

      5.5. Like I said, I'm a whiny bitch. Live with it.

      6. Like I said, I'm a whiny bitch. Live with it.

      There obviously is indeed a fake account, but as I've plainly stated it was not created by me and is not controlled by me. You can continue to call me a dishonest hypocrite to your dying breath if you'd like, but many people in many modding communities have known me for a number of years now and already know that such is not true. They'd tell you so here themselves, but I already know they are smart enough not to get themselves involved in this petty bickering which you seem intent upon perpetuating.

    4. This comment has been removed by the author.

    5. 3. So I obviously lose because of popularity? 30,000 Levels has 98 votes so you lose the contest. Well Heaven held 2 stars before the admins finally got to taking it down. That was before I got to re-uploading it.

      4. Yeah that's true when it comes to that statement.

      Oh so now Salmancis isn't made by you? Any chance you can back that up with some proof? Otherwise you're talking out of your ass. Yeah because you are an dishonest hypocrite. You still can't talk about the oblige maps, that right here still proves this point against you. When it comes to this so called bickering, it was you who started it up again with the second comment you posted on my video.

    6. See, you keep accusing me of being a dishonest hypocrite and say I'm "talking out of my ass", that I need to present proof of something; yet you still haven't shown us proof of anything at all either. Okay, so you clicked your browser toolbar a couple of times in a ranting video, so what? What does that prove? It doesn't do anything at all to support your redundant accusations. Show us some substantial proof to support your delusional argument; the repetitive accusations without anything to support them were entertaining at first, but now it's just getting kinda sad and boring.

    7. Yes I have in the video against you. There's another example of you lying. I have proven the fact that Salmancis1968 is you and can't give me reason why this person is not you.

      That specific part was to show people proof that your oblige maps are no longer there. Once again I have shown plenty of substantial proof to back up my arguments, and no those point aren't delusional, it's mostly facts as I see it. The reason why you say sad and boring is because you're losing the argument against me.

      Proof from the threads of other people calling you out on your maps:

      This further backs up my argument against you.

    8. Let's assume for a moment that they were actually Oblige maps as you and others have accused. Wouldn't having them removed from the Archives be the HONEST thing to do? By what logic would that action be dishonest? Perhaps it would be considered dishonest in your Bizarro world, but here in this universe your logic simply doesn't make sense; the fact that you keep ranting about it simply continues to make you look foolish.

      As for the fake account you keep ranting about, I've already explained that to you; you simply refuse to take my word for it so you can continue to call me a lying hypocrite. As I said earlier, you have shown us no proof whatsoever that I'm connected to said account in any way whatsoever, and until you can provide some form of ACTUAL PROOF this repetitious accusation continues to make you look foolish as well.

    9. So when other people call you out on your BS, it's all assumptions? So you requested them to be taken down after being called out on it? Why should I take your word for it when you can't show me otherwise that Salmancis1968 is a different person. In my burial against you, I have shown people proof and explained why this account is you. I mean why would a nobody only comment against me on videos, and like your 81 minute long video as recent activity? That's good enough proof to back up that statement.

      So by continuing to argue against you, I'm foolish? Well this should be my last reply I make towards you since I have already buried you and counteracted every point you mostly had against me.

    10. I'm just going to copy+paste here to save myself some time since I have other more productive things to do:

      As I said earlier, you have shown us no proof whatsoever that I'm connected to said account in any way whatsoever, and until you can provide some form of ACTUAL PROOF this repetitious accusation continues to make you look foolish as well.

      Show us some substantial proof to support your delusional argument; the repetitive accusations without anything to support them were entertaining at first, but now it's just getting kinda sad and boring.

    11. Well, I guess the silence says it all, doesn't it?

  3. on another note i saw today 2 very good things! On the onemandoom wad review blog i discovered that Rise Of The Triad gets a reboot nice! Aaaand most important Jason Hall from Monolithic software joined blood fansite to announce that he has teh source code for Blood and wants to work on a version of the game that works with the current hardware and OS. Very good news! All for free ofcourse!

    1. BLOOD is one of the games I haven't played yet, largely due to the technical limitations you mention. An OpenGL sourceport would indeed be great!

    2. Wow, I just read thru all of DoomGuy 2000s idiocy above. My head hurts from all the facepalming. The tags of the original post (Humour, Drama, MEH) describe it perfectly.

      But then I see this completely unrelated post, and it makes my day. Thank you!!!

    3. Yes, it's refreshing to actually talk about a game, isn't it?

      I sincerely do hope that BLOOD gets a sourceport similar to the ones we have for DOOM. I've heard nothing but good things about the game and would welcome the chance to play it (and maybe even mod for it).

    4. Blood is the best FPS game ever in my opinion, closely followed by Doom.

      You can play it with Dosbox just fine, but you probably need to tweak the Dosbox cfg file, on some if not most PCs the sound and music will not work right. I got it working by emulating a Gravis Ultrasound card.

      But maybe it's better to wait for the real thing. Jace Hall himself is gonna run the project and not some 3rd party that sees the source code for the first time.

      Here is his post on the postmortem forum:

      If all that happens, I know I will get into modding Blood again (I made a few maps in the past, the official map editor was included with the game)

    5. Thanks for the http://. I'm definitely going to keep an eye on this, and will do an official report on it here on the blog once something is finished.

      In the meantime, all this talk of it has prompted me to look for the original game again. I've found a version that I'm told will work just fine on Windows 7 (but I've heard that story before) so I might take a chance on it.

  4. I thought I would wait until I had access to enough bandwidth before I bothered watching the video (otherwise I would have commented before this), but now I am wondering why I did O.o

    Despite Doomguy 2000's claim otherwise, I saw no actual evidence linking you to this "fake profile". Given what I saw of said profile's posts, that could easily have been me, if I didn't stick to this particular online persona as I do. Also, can someone explain to me how anything about Doomworld is "prestigious"? No one and nothing on that site is anymore special than on/at any other game forum, the Nexus and VGU (my favourites) included. To think otherwise is sheer hubris.

    Speaking of hubris, Doomguy 2000 seems to be rather full of himself. He has quite the ego: I am surprised he can fit through doorways.

    So, do you feel "special" having been "buried" Herculine? Oh, and can I get that 12 minutes of my life back?

    1. Sorry, but the 12 life-minutes are non-refundable. However, I thank you for taking the time to comment; it's good to know that I'm not the only one who can see that the video "burial" in question contained proof of absolutely nothing whatsoever.

    2. I had read through all 20 comments before I bothered to watch the video. After seeing all his spelling mistakes (I'm guilty of that as well, I know), I was I was starting to wonder about him, and was honestly hoping they were due to English not being his first language. So much for that...

      Having said that, I am willing to state that my ability to do what both you and he do with Doom is completely beyond my ability at this time. If I actually apply myself to learning, with either Doom or another of my favourite games, that could, should and would change. Heavy emphasis on "if".

    3. What he and I do with Doom is a simple matter of editing text documents with an editing program. It's really not rocket science, it's just a matter of understanding what you're looking at. I can show you sometime if you so desire. If we can do it, anyone can (which in part explains all the criticisms we both receive).

    4. I hope to take you up on that offer some time :) Right now, I just O.O

      Hmm, things are still a wee bit blurry... ;)